My Life With Cipralex

What my copacetic pills look like in the science world.

 

I wrote, early in the fall, about my first experiences with the antidepressant drug Cipralex.  I think it’s time for a little bit of an update now that I’ve been taking it for three and a half months.  Here are ten reasons why I’m still taking it:

 

1. No noticeable side effects.  I was prepared for something, but I haven’t noticed any!
2. I feel logical and reasonable most of the time.
3. I sleep.  I fall asleep, I stay sleeping, and I wake up refreshed.  No more diabolical nightmares, no more racing thoughts, no more crying myself to sleep. Some days I feel as though this is a miracle.
4. I am generally happy.  By happy, I mean content, grateful, aware of blessings and goodness, optimistic, and cheerful.
5. I smile a lot more.  I even laugh!  Sometimes daily.  I see a lot more humour in the everyday.
6. My creativity has increased and I find myself with more ideas and better poetry.  I’m even debating taking up a hobby or two that I deserted years ago.
7. I am truly enjoying my life for the first time since I was a child.  I very rarely wish I could escape my life, probably no more than would be normal for most people. 😀
8. I can be present to and with my kids.  Consequently I enjoy them, can respond to them in a loving manner, and find our lives to be much more emotionally calm than before.
9. There is a calm, loving voice inside my self now.  I can listen to it, believe the truth it speaks, and let go of negative thoughts and emotions.
10. Most interestingly, I am far more aware of God’s presence.  I wake in the morning with praise in my soul for the miracle of life this drug has given me.  I am able to pray, to find meaning in my Bible, to see God’s presence in other people more easily, and to be still and calm.  I understand now why God caused the curtain in the Temple to rip in two at the moment when Jesus died.  In a way I cannot explain, a dark veil that shrouded my perception and heart has been torn to shreds and I am so often blinded by the goodness and love God has created the world with.  I often think a great deal about the spiritual significance of taking a drug that alters my very person so extremely, but I have not come to any conclusions aside from gratitude.